just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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