Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
