So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
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