Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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