I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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