After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
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Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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