New low: just hacked my moms facebook
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
