I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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