The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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