im gay
i know
yea but for you.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
And then he peed in my hair
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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