so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
