ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
