how hairy? two words: wookie tits
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
