I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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