alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
be right there i have to get my cape
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
