the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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