would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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