shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
