he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
