Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Randomize