Banned from zoo.
Again?
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
