why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize
