allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
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