And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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