we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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