Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Randomize
