So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
