And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
