I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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