Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
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