my soul wont recognize me after tonight
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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