Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
