I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
