That's intense
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
