Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
