Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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