420 ftw
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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