Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
