Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
