I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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