Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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