and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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