I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
You were trust falling into bushes
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
