you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
