Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize