On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
I see more hoeing in ur future
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