I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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