I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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