I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Your penis caused this!
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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