They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
