And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize