Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
