just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
