Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Randomize
