if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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