she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
