It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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