"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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