I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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