I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
