Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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