I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
