Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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