Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize