What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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